i miss them!!!!

♥ i really nid a place to spill it out...tats y i m writing it here

i never know uni life is so hectic
i always tot there is always big green field
lay down and study as i wish
have most fun of my life during uni
play as hard as i wish
but real uni life doesn't turn out to be the way i tot it would be

but those are juz some crap...
i dun expect too much tho..
all my aunts been telling me...
"what do you expect? u are taking pharmacy"
but cun pharmacy course be slightly easier?
at least some space to breath...
i hate those pbl, psd session...
and i dun like class test every single week...
i hate those portfolio...
they making me sick!!!
i feel like dying

i miss home!!! so so much!!!
i miss all my frens back in hometown...
i noe i m such a brat!!!
i cried almoz everyday....
i never felt so stress b4...
i suffer from insomnia
i m damn tired but i juz cun fall aslip
when lying on my bed, i can feel my whole body shaking
my hands shake like shit when i m studying the notes..
i lost my appetite due to exam*still doesnt seem to slim down..wtf*
i threw out everything i eat
why is this happening to me?
i dun have this feeling during sem 1...not during spm too

i m so so stress with those class test splashing my face
i used to call my mum and ky darl..
but calling my mum makes her cry with me...
i m making her worry..i dun wan that
i feel so bad for calling ky darl ..
its like i always trouble her...
i always cry in the phone with her...
she is also having her prob...
but she have to deal with mine!!!
hate myself for being that...

when we realize, its always too late...
my 1 year HSC passed so fast...i never get to really enjoy it
i miss HSC year so so much...
i have the greatest fren during HSC...
i met my life-time bffs
they are just so great..ntg can replace them
i rmb every single moment we spend 2gether...

went for mamak nearly every single nite...
went dinner with ck, kh, ky everynite
hanging out with bunch of craziest fren at beach around 3-4am
went to mcd to so called "study" crap instead
went for mcd breakfast around 4am
woke up around 6am for maxim's dim sum
studying in study room 2gether
we even skip class 2gether...
talking nonsense outside the hostel bench...
laughing at each other...

i miss them so so much,
i can hug and cry with them when i m sad..
i can have heart to heart talk with them
i cun find any in imu...
even there are few, crying to them is even worse
coz that will make them feel stress too!!!!

D and kh are both in AUS...
chatting with them tru msn
i noe i m 100 times better than them...
at least i can go bek home during weekend..
they are stress out there too...

kh asked me in msn juz now..
"can i b in msia now?"
"even for 1 week?"
i feel like crying...
she mus be so lonely...
but what can i do for her...
telling her i m always here for her?
msn me whenever she is free?
tats all i can do...ntg much..
feel like hugging her!!!


p/s: dear, really sory for the bday post
i promise i will do you a superb nice bday post when i go bek kulim nex week
its been a very very hectic week for me here...
really sorry!!!